So we're moving to Alaska

If you know me at all, you’ll know that I am a planner. I find security in knowing what to expect, feeling as though I have some control over my/our future. I like to plan my work day, plan my grocery trips, plan for the kids schedules, plan for our future, plan out the design of our house, plan out our holidays and vacations and it goes on. And on. And on. The funny thing about all that planning is that it makes me FEEL like I have control. But what does God say about all my “plans” and my control? Proverbs 19:21 NIV “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails”. Clearly, I am not in the driver seat when it comes to this life. Reality is I am a terrible and very annoying back seat driver. I think God is probably quite often laughing and shaking his head at my worrisome heart.

So where am I going with all this? Travis and I began a few years ago PLANNING to move to Alaska. But that plan was solely revolving around leaving Arizona AFTER Travis had put in his 20 years with DPS and was able to officially “retire”. Because retirement is important to us. He worked for it. He needed it. I needed it. Our family needed it. That is our security. OUR future. Our plan. Our retirement.

Then things started to change in our hearts. We began to see God moving the puzzle pieces of our life in a way that made us realize that plan, our plan, is not HIS plan. Not HIS timing. That we were going to have to give up our “retirement” that we have been clinging to – for so long – and fully trust him. For our financial stability, our future, our family. We are moving to Alaska now. Why? Because God is calling  us and rather than sit on the sidelines checking our watches and saying “Not yet God – we’re not ready yet”, we are getting up and running toward that call.

Our church did a sermon recently on a Spirit of Mammon. Prior to that service I had never heard “Mammon” discussed. It was specifically referencing verse Matthew 6:24 which states “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” You cannot. Cannot. Cannot. The King James translation states “You cannot serve both God and Mammon”. Pastor Ashley Wooldridge from CCV explained Mammon as more complex than just “money”. Rather it’s the love, hope and trust in money, materials, etc. Placing our security in material wealth. Uhh. Like a retirement? Like revolving our lives, our future around receiving something that only man has promised us? Oops. We are failing in our faith by allowing that to rule us. Rather we should be serving and entrusting all hope and trust in God and God alone. Does that mean we become poor financial stewards and give into reckless abandon? No – God’s very clear about His requirement for us in that regard. But as far as where we as individuals, husband and wife and as a family, have placed our hope – our trust – our faith, it will no longer be in the State of Arizona retirement system. We have decided to follow the lead of our God (who’s money it is anyway) and move on to the life HE has planned for us.

This all makes me very nervous. Because I like to plan. And its WAY way out of my comfort zone. So when I start to doubt, I go back to what I KNOW is true.

#1 God will take care of us. Why? Because he loves us. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV  says “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Notice that truth doesn’t include “to give you a hope and a future with the State of Arizona retirement system”. Or “to make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams”. Or “to give you all the free income your heart desires”. He will take care of us. Because he loves us. Matthew 6:26 affirms this by saying “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” When I start to feel nervous, I look at the birds. Even have them tattooed on my wrist and remember that I don’t need to be storing away my hope and trust in a barn –  Christ is enough. He is our plenty.

#2 Retirement is not a guarantee. Just like the social security system, retirement is never a guarantee. Nothing in the future is. Our lives do not come with promises of how many days we’ll have on this earth or that the economy will succeed or that we’ll be financially secured in the future. Psalm 118:8 says “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.” Our system is flawed – created by man to serve man. And failed more often than not. So why have we been placing our hope and trust there?

#3 Our days are numbered – I will serve, live, love and enjoy every moment He has blessed me with. I think losing my brother was probably the biggest reality check I have ever received thus far in life. He was gone in a moment. I will never forget that phone call from my mom to tell me Logan was in a fatal car accident. I was sitting on our bed writing a “Star Student of the Week” letter to my oldest son, Braden’s class. That call interrupted my writing and still to this day the letter is unfinished. Braden and I later on found the letter and it made my heart hurt all over again to just remember, like words abruptly on a page coming to an end without warning, so was his life. A letter, a story unfinished. Or really is it just not what I had PLANNED. Job 14:5 NLT says “You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.” Not a minute longer. So am I going to spend all my minutes watching my clock, waiting to retire? Or am I going to embrace what God has placed before us and live. Truly live and enjoy the time we have here on earth to serve, live and love. I choose that. We choose Him over Mammon. We choose faith in Christ over a retirement system. God has blessed us with new opportunities and we are going to take a leap of faith to follow his call. It’s going to be an adventure. And we are so excited.

Final thought: What’s God calling in your life? An adventure? Giving up control in an area of your life to Him and his purpose? Stepping out of your comfort zone? I would encourage you to follow his lead. It will be the scariest and most rewarding time of your life. Here’s the link to the sermon on Mammon if you’re interested. Happy viewing and thanks for reading friends! Ya’ll better come visit us up north! 
http://www.palmvalley.org/portfolio_page/life-coach-week-2/

This is what it means

It's been one month today since we lost Logan. My heart is still aching and secretly I have been pretending that he's just gone for a little while - like a bad joke - or a long trip and that soon the phone will ring and he'll be there asking for a hair cut. I know that is not reality but it seems to help ease the pain of losing him. The boys - especially Rylan - pray each night that God will let him come back home.

This is hard.

Really hard.

Over the last month there are lyrics to a song that keep running through my mind and I know our hope is in Christ and I am praying that Logan is with the Lord and that one day I will see him again. In my heart I hope and long for that day. For I know when I do get to see him again, I will run and throw my arms around him and finally get to tell him how much I have loved him... all along... and how much I have missed him for all those years.

We have been so blessed by the outpouring of love and support over this last month. I am so thankful for all the people that God has placed in my life. It's been amazing to see our friends drop everything to surround us with meals and love and hugs and support. My co-workers just jumped in and took over my job to allow me time to prepare for Logan's service and have time to grieve over his loss.

In times like these it is so evident to me of God's faithfulness and how he uses us to impact the lives of others. The week before Logan's death I had been asking God to increase my faith. I know that is a dangerous prayer to pray but I have to say, I have seen in this terrible storm full of heart ache and pain, that he's there to see us to the other side.

Logan life has had such an impact on so many. Even in his death - people that I barely know have called me; one man even crying and sobbing about how he showed his wife the "Have a Nice Day" tribute video of Logan and how it's impacted them by the loss of his life. Logan was an absolute gem, he said. I couldn't agree more. So many have committed to Live Like Logan and embrace life and those around them. Live passionately and abundantly.

He was witty and smart. A total jokester and party animal. He lived fast and played hard. He had goals and ambition and was a little reckless. He was stubborn and passionate. He loved the ladies. And facial hair. And poofy crazy untamed messy hair. Which always drove me nuts.

If I would have known that that last haircut would have been the last time I saw him, I would have made it last just a little bit longer.

I love you Logan. I miss you terribly. I can't wait to see you again.



This is what it means to be held



How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life


And you survive


This is what it is to be loved and to know


That the promise was that when everything fell


We'd be held...

 

Ketchup

So I haven't been on here in quite awhile! Sorry guys!!!

Let's play KETCHUP.

Shortly after the last posting we were blessed with baby Christian's arrival - he is such an angel! I was induced and the little smarty pants thought it would be funny to try and come out hand first, then elbow first. Needless to say, I ended up having to have an emergency c-section since he was just not cooperating. He was 8.1 lbs at birth and 21 inches long. Daddy was SUPER brave and held my hand and watched the whole process of the c-section because I was terrified. I am talking - can't stop shaking - terrified. But it was a pretty quick delivery - just the recovery time took a little longer this time around.

Uncle Devin and Aunt Sarah were such a big help.

And we all can't stop talking - to this day about how Christian is a carbon copy of Rylan! Their baby pictures are almost identical - it's so funny!

Braden & Rylan were SO excited to meet their new brother and we have all just enjoyed having him as a part of our family. He's a sweet little handsome boy. Just smiley and happy nearly all the time.

When he was a week old, he would start smiling while dreaming. I caught him smiling when he was just 8 days old. I love love love this picture.

Christian's now 8 months old and is crawling like crazy. Today he got up on his knees to crawl for one of the first times. Before he would do the arm crawl and pull him self up on the furniture and toys around the house. He's learned to clap - super cute. He's mostly bald and is teething. He loves loves loves his big brothers and Braden is such a great helper. Rylan is really good at making Christian belly laugh. Christian loves his puffs and is now holding his own bottle and said 'mama' for the first time a month ago. He loves his daddy but we're still working on the word 'dadda'.

Over the last few months we've been busy having lots of fun. Braden's lost a few more teeth. Rylan's still freaked out about this. Daddy FINALLY tiled the boy's bathroom upstairs and I am chomping at the bit to get the master bathroom re-done. I cannot wait for the day that our shower gets the long awaited makeover.

This summer we went iceskating, to the pool, to California (the beach) and have enjoyed Travis being home on vacation for awhile. He's in the training postion with DPS and is loving that schedule. I am much more at peace knowing he's off the road - it's sooooooo dangerous and just too dang hot! He comes home sweaty, gross and grumpy. I am loving the new 'in office' schedule for him. He's also looking mighty fine after losing 25 lbs by dieting and excerising. We've been doing a 3 mile power walk each night with the kids and it's going really well so far. A little hot though - since we are still averaging 101 degrees at 9 pm :( Here's some of the Cali photos...

(note the mother in the left corner rushing in to save the baby from the water)

Tomorrow Rylan starts swim lessons and Braden has a summer camp at church this week that he is excited about. Rylan will be attending full day preschool this year at Sonoran Heights so he and Braden will have virtually the same schedule. I am really looking forward to this as I think he's really going to be prepared for kindergarten this way. Hard to believe it but Braden will be in 2nd grade this year! He's doing great and made us the most adorable card for our anniversary yesterday!

It was the big #5 for Travis and I yesterday so we snuck away for the night to our fav hotel - Hyatt at Gainey Ranch - and had some one on one for the evening. Went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and lounged by the pool for the evening. Sleeping in till 9 am was heaven! But by morning we were missing our babies too much.

(the hotel even surprised us with champagne & chocolates!)

Today Braden had another hockey lesson - so funny. All the kids in his class spend the majority of the time trying to stay up on the skates. He's really enjoying this sport and we might continue it in the future. This fall he's going to also start football and is looking forward to that too.

This year Rylan turned 4 and had a Lego party that I started planning 3 months in advance. It turned out super cute and I am kicking myself for not taking pictures! I made lego pops - lego brick chocolate topped cupcakes - lego party cups - lego gift bags and on and on and on. The best part is Trav set up the lego man by the door to greet the kids when they came in. It turned out really cute and was our best party thus far.

Braden just turned 7 and for his birthday we did a joint party with his buddy Trey Pareja at a friends house. They had so much fun swimming and slamming each other with birthday cake. Then on his "real" birthday we headed out to ChuckECheese. He and Rylan and his friend Cayden spent the evening loaded on pizza and tokens.

These little people are growing up too fast and eventhough we are always on the go - crazy busy - I have to say I am loving this life. Promise I'll keep my postings a little more frequent!!!

Batter Up

(Smiling at Daddy before his first "hit")

Braden had his first Tball game this weekend and OH.MY.LORD. was it the cutest thing ever! The kids on his team all run like little ants to the ball (mostly in competition to see who can get it first) and then slide just to get their pants dirty.

It was really sweet to hear Travis come home from buying Braden's cleats to tell me about "I remember my first baseball game..."

Braden is SUPER excited about getting to play this year "real baseball" and has been stoked ever since he was given his uniform. I had to peel it off him!!!

(Travis and I laugh at the kid doing the cartwheels during the game... bahaha)

Rylan loves watching Braden play but doesn't get yet that he's not allowed in the duggout with the other "big kids". BUT lucky for him Daddy makes sure to warm up with him before the game so he feels included.

We also finally finished the nursery - just in the nick of time!!! Here's a picture of all Trav's hardwork. He took my scribbles of a design and made it exactly as I asked... go babe! Have a FEW more things to do so it's perfect (repaint the top color eventually, add lights to the murphy bed and cabinets and I need to add some more fabric to the valance) but it's good to go for now.

(sorry the picture may look a little weird cuz we spliced 3 photos into 1 to make it panoramic)

NEXT UP - BABY TIME! He'll be here sometime this week!!! YAYAYAYAYAYA!

Missing Teeth & Legoman

This post is really overdue! So sorry but with me being near the end of my pregnancy there doesn't seem to be enough time or energy at the end of the day. I am actually writing this at 4:10am as I CAN'T SLEEP! Eventhough EVERYTHING within me wants to... my body just won't. This makes me very sad. And very very tired.

So to catch up on the last few weeks! Just to make it fun, we'll start backwards with last night.

Last night was Halloween and the kids have been picking their costumes from my newspaper ads for the last month - I am not exaggerating this time. Seriously - they carry the papers with them until they are falling apart. So around the 20th of the month, I went to good ole' Walmart and rustled up the last Darth Vader (in a medium - because my boy Braden has gone through a recent growth spurt) and a small IRONMAN for Rylan. You would have thought I was Ironman when I came home with those costumes - Rylan especially was so excited. In his "high little voice" he said " you got me my costume momma?" (with his little hands clasped together) "thank you!!!!". After that point, he wore that costume day and night for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT before I could get it off his tiny little body to wash it. Every time we meet or see someone he doesn't know, for that matter, he would proudly telling them that he was Ironman and Braden was Darth Vader. Which usually resulted in me having to explain because some people just don't speak or follow three year old lingo...

Travis being the coolest dad EVER created his costume this year and well.... Let me just show you because there are no words to describe his creative abilities.

My children LITERALLY chant "who's the best daddy ever?" and then simulanteously will shout "he is!!!" and point at Trav. CUTEST THING EVER. LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

Last night our poor kids trick or treating was stretched out to a TWO HOUR event because everyone in the neighborhood had to stop and take pictures with LEGOMAN. Some of the phrases I heard over the evening was "that's totally the best costume ever", "dude, check out the Lego-cop", "that's the best costume I have seen in FIVE YEARS" (not six mind you, just five).

One lady thought Travis was a kid - I am laughing as I am typing this - and asked why he didn't want some candy!!! WHAHAHAHA. I then had to explain it was my husband! BAHAHA. He couldn't see very well and took out one of our neighborhood children with his styrofoam hand to which I heard him call to me in a panic, "Hun, I think I just hit a child". No child was hurt or even phased for that matter but it was completely hilarious. I WISH YOU COULD HAVE  BEEN THERE! Rylan towards the end of the night was saying "Mommy, can we PUH-LEZ go home now? My legs are weally weally tired". They had VERY full treat bags and were on a sugar high for the rest of the evening.

Last weekend was super fun and filled with so many good things - we had my baby shower that my bestie Steph threw for me. It was adorable. I am so excited to post pics once I get them from her... Christian is going to be one spoiled little man for sure :)

We also went to the traditional pumpkin patch again this year. I can't get over how big the boys are getting. They had a blast - here's some pics of the day.

 And the week prior to that our biggest announcement is that Braden Matthew Palmer FINALLY lost his first tooth on October 14th at 4:30 pm! Rylan did NOT like this. He absolutely WIGGED OUT seeing Braden's missing tooth. Braden and I had a good laugh about this for awhile. He was super excited to see what the toothfairy was going to bring him that night and I must say, we have the coolest toothfairy that comes to our house. She managed to have a $2 dollar bill handy for the special occasion. In the morning, when I asked Braden about his special dollar - that he wanted to use to buy lunch at school with... - he announced that John McCain was on the dollar. I laughed about this all day long.

He's so funny. I lub him.

Oldies but goodies...

Rylan & Daddy Time

Chunky Chunk

Funniest Home Videos

Found these on our computer and thought I would share :)

Five minutes later....

Fourth of July Fun